Sunday, January 24

Super Sweet Sunday Fill in the Blank...

provided by the lovely Lauren at The Little Things We Do:

1. Today I am feeling ... a little nauseous which is also kind of my new normal:)

2. If I were you I'd ... take advantage of this rainy Sunday morning by having some toast and tea and cuddling with someone incredibly handsome (that's you Mr. Awesome)

3. Love is ... incredible and amazes me daily. It's one of those things that once you recognize it, you see it everywhere.

4. I always ... turn the lights off and close the closet doors (Mr. Awesome has some strange aversion to closing closet doors) ... before leaving the house.

5. I feel prettiest when ... Mr. Awesome looks at me in that way: little smile, head kind of cocked to the side all sorts of love and mischief going on:)

6. If I had a million dollars I'd ... get another puppy... after we got back from an incredibly long island hopping vacation of course!!

7. I'm looking forward to ... The Vikings/Saints game today!!

Dear Mr. Awesome,

Thanks for carrying me to bed last night. I didn't mean to pass out right in the middle of our packing extravaganza. Apparently it didn't phase you one bit; not the fact that I was partially comatose...while sort of attempting to have a the midst of having you help me wrangle my way out of my suffocating cardigan. You're the greatest!!


I sincerely apologize that the seven boxes that were allotted for my books were only able to house half of them...I forgot that some of those shelves were three rows deep:) My Bad.

Thursday, January 21

Dear Best Friend,

Oh yeah you know who you are. Have you gone completely bonkers? So just a couple days ago you call to tell me you're going to be gone for a couple days. Cool. Maybe we'll hang out this weekend. That is a kind, considerate friend thing to do. You didn't have to...but you're just awesome like that. BUT!!!! You don't think to call and double check the date for the birth of my first child before you schedule your month long trip to another country? "Oh yeah!! When are you due again?" You say, "Four days before we get back? Well we'll be sure to be here for the next one then." Well thank you for the consolation prize.
Don't fret, you're not blacklisted because I know you'll make it up and I'm clinging to the idea that you didn't blatantly do it to be away from my whining. Or did you? 

Nonetheless I still love you and I want New Zealand-y stuff,

Best friend's husband, like I said, you are not allowed to make excuses or allowances until you have an equally painful, scary and life-altering experience for which your best friend is traipsing around New Zealand.

Dear Baby,

Just wanted to give you a heads up that you are no longer an embryo but officially a baby (even if you do look a little alien-ish).  I appreciate the fact that in honor of your new title you wanted to assert some power by giving me back that whole glass of orange juice I had for breakfast. Yeah, they were kind of concerned at work when I went a little Exorcist in the back room. Apparently orange juice does not constitute breakfast, point taken. It seems you enjoyed the ham and cheese a bit more, noted. But just you wait because payback is imminent. It's gonna be orange juice and scrambled eggs all the time once you get here. Just. You. Wait!


Friday, January 15


So last night I experienced one of the unfortunate side effects of my prenatal vitamins. Apparently the iron in those vitamins combined with the minimal amount of  water I consumed yesterday set me up for a very uncomfortable evening...and morning. 
HOLY CRAP!!! No pun...well maybe a little pun intended. 
I was in the restroom on two separate occasions for 30-45 minutes each time praying and wondering how many nurses I would have laughing at me for going to the hospital for constipation. Seriously though I felt like I was going to die and each time I left the restroom with absolutely no relief and minimal support from Mr. Awesome whose frequent bowel movements are legend. He did offer to come hold my hand but I make constant denial that I even go number two and sometimes even wait until he leaves the house to do clearly that was not going to happen. 
And what exactly is going to happen when I go into labor and an eight pound baby is trying to make its way out of a hole much much smaller!!
Anyway, so on my third set of rounds at 4:30 this morning I had the most horrific experience and then finally relief. I was so excited I woke Mr. Awesome up and he was incredibly excited as well. I couldn't contain my enthusiasm. I will be drinking liter after liter of water today...maybe a gallon of prune juice but I will not be doing that again. Not.


So maybe the "warning" wasn't super necessary but I don't make a point to talk about these kinds of things regularly so I felt it might be necessary.

Tuesday, January 12

Dear Wonder Pup,

This is my second letter to you regarding your flatulence and I fear that it will not be the last. It wasn't too long ago that I compared you to the atomic bomb but it has gotten so much worse. We've tried to change your food, we've racked our brain as to what may be be festering inside your bowels, we've asked you flat out "Oh my God, what is wrong with you," but sadly to no avail. I know it's not just me and my super powered pregnant sniffer because even Mr. Awesome is appalled too. 

I see this sweet face now and all I see death, because every time you let one go I die a little inside. I'm beginning to think you are doing it just to spite me, already rebelling against the baby by dropping bombs all over the house because the frequency has gone up exponentially. Maybe you're marking your territory before he gets here, "back left hand corner of the bedroom...check. Left and right sides of the couch...check...check."

I have no idea what to do next besides may be looking into puppy colonoscopies.


Dear Onda,

Can I call you Onda? You're real name is too long and scientific-y. I know we met less than 24 hours ago but I already kind of love you. I mean you're a quarter of the size of those horse pills I have to take everyday and you have the most amazing ability to make me feel like a normal person. I mean who wouldn't want to get rid of that constant hungover feeling, you are amazing. Screw the Sea Bands that only took the edge off, you are unstoppable. Here's to a long and happy relationship.

No really you're awesome

Friday, January 8

Dear Blatant Observer,

Yeah you!! What's you're deal? Why must you look at me like I'm crazy just because I have a cup of pee in my hand, we are at the Doctors office. Sometimes, just sometimes, they take samples from people who aren't crackheads. Also, AHEM, you are standing in front of the little gray tray that I'm supposed to be placing it in. But noooo!!! You have to look over your shoulder at me like I'm planning some sort of urinary attack. Weirdo...Move it! Other people are starting to stare. I swear it's only that unnatural shade of fluorescence because of my prenatal vitamins, not because the only liquid I ever drink is orange juice. Geez.

I cry easy now, 

Monday, January 4

Dear REM cycle,

I don't know what the deal is but I've never been one to have crazy dreams. If anything I'm that person that can't even remember their dreams at all. Which makes it all the more strange that I very clearly recall rappelling down the side of a building, upside down, shooting at some faceless assailants. Or just two nights ago bashing zombies heads in with a cast-iron skillet. Very graphic and very violent. I only have one possible explanation....testosterone!

I'm putting it on record that after my ninja dream last night we will be having a boy...a jumping, kicking, crazy (like Mr. Awesome) boy. I'm about 90% sure.