dear black friday shopper,

Uhhh yeah...I don't really get it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you. When I see you trampling people to get through the doors of Target, Fred Meyer, or Best Buy in order to be one of the first 100 to receive a $200 big screen I think "they must really need that big screen, and are willing to risk their lives and the leg of that fat guy who can't move that fast in order to get it." Is it because you're competitive? are you channeling your high school track star alter ego by wearing your best track pants and sweat bands, getting in the starting blocks and running at the chance to get socks 50% off? You should know that I am mildly amused by your enthusiasm and crazy looting type antics. However, the fact that you actually take yourself seriously is incredibly disturbing. Throwing elbows, cussing people out, accosting young children in order to get the last of the buy one get one free board games; you should be ashamed of yourself!! You know why I avoid Black Friday? Because I would be arrested when someone tried to go all zombieland on me and unfortunately if you are arrested on a Friday there's a chance you won't get out until Monday and let's be honest...the $50 netbook is just not worth it.

everyday but black friday shopper,

Kimiko

Dear Kaia,

Needless to say there are an absurd number of things you do that are absolutely adorable and sweet but in this short time that we've known each other I find that the things that stand out most are a little on the gross side....for example: 

1.) you are a pooper, no way around it. It has only been three weeks and (much like our puppy) you have already marked your territory. Of course there was the predictable changing table instance (at least three), and I could probably blame myself for changing you on the white shag carpet (did you really need to project though) and then of course there was Daddy Awesome's leg which required him to have to go take a shower. You also like to make us think that you need your diaper changed but then wait until we're actually in the act before doing your business. 

....side note: today you laughed in your sleep and I think you were planning your next attack...Tricky, tricky Kaia!

2.) losing your belly button thingy, literally. So while changing your diaper (again) I noticed that it was gone, but you had a onesie on sooooo where could it have gone to. Apparently you are practicing your magic skills because much to my dismay there it was just sitting on the couch. Really Kaia...Really?

3.) You are a bit of a piglet, sometimes you eat so fast that you just as quickly spit it back out...typically down your chin, down my shirt, but rarely on the designated burp cloth. However, today was a little out of the ordinary, instead of following our normal routine you decided to hold out for Daddy Awesome. Once you were safely in his arms you distracted him with your cute face and then proceeded to projectile vomit all over yourself and his sleeve. Momma thought your head might start spinning and just about had an ambulance on the way.

So there's three little things for your three wonderful weeks on this earth, all documented for your future embarassment.

Love, 

Momma

Dear Kaia,

You are pretty much the most amazing, sweetest, incredibly crazy thing that has ever happened to me. 

love, 

your momma

Dear Skinny Face,

proof of my once skinny face

I haven't seen you in awhile. There was a time where I still saw traces of you, a time where I had very high hopes that you had just gone on a lengthy sabbatical. Now I'm getting nervous!! Nearly frantic!!! Please come back!! Please!! The powdered sugar and jelly filling from that Top Pot donut I recently devoured just didn't look right on the second chin, whereas I think just one chin could have passed off as cute. Not so much this time, more along the lines of horrifying, in a Fat Bastard sort of way. 

However, in the face of such a tragedy I will try to remain optimistic and hopeful. I'll even offer up my Professor Klump like feet for eternity, in exchange for you my dear Skinny Face. Maybe?

Kimiko

Dear Nursery,

You are in absolute disarray, which is actually in keeping with the rest of our place. Having combined our belongings and moving three times in the the little over a year we've been married, I'd have to say that our current style could be summed up as "transitory." So unfortunately you, sad little nursery, have suffered the most. That will be changing very soon (hopefully), due to the fact that your complete lack of personality and function is making me anxious. I had to have Mr. Awesome put together the crib just to impart a sense of purpose, there are also several hideous paint options on the wall and a mishmash of baby stuff thrown around with no particular method to the madness. However, we have a plan: 

THE CURRENT SAD STATE:

Royce is the elephants name and the crib was an awesome gift from my mom

THE INSPIRATION:

With Two Cats

Me and Wee

Young House Love

 

These inspirational photos along with an ambitious list of DIY projects should make for an eventful few weeks and hopefully a room that looks less like a self-storage facility.  Finally here is a picture of Mr. Awesome gathering up his energy and dreaming of all the awesome projects we get to do:)

Bye for now little nursery, 

Kimiko

Dear Glucose Drink,

Tricky, tricky glucose drink...who knew? You weigh in at a mere 10oz and I...well, let's just say I currently weigh in at 10oz plus. You come in three enticing (at least for Kool Aid) flavors: lemon-lime, orange, and tropical punch. You are handed to me slightly chilled from the fridge. You aren't even incredibly offensive...that is until the first sip has settled.

Now I have to say I chose lemon-lime, taking into consideration that even sick people drink lemon-lime due to the slim chance that it will induce vomiting. But typically people don't leave a bottle of lemon-lime awesomeness in the the glove box of a black Suburban in an Arizona summer. That my friend is you dear Glucose Drink. You are incredibly deceiving and I don't appreciate the false sense of confidence you promoted in me. I also don't appreciate a five minute time limit to down your sugary venom, or the fact that when I handed your empty bottle back to the nurse (consciously holding back bile) she looked and said, "oh, looks like you left just a little bit left in there." SERIOUSLY!!! and then I get the opportunity to get my blood drawn...YIPPEEE!!

I know that pregnancy has made me just a tad bit more dramatic but I'm pretty sure that they do endless rounds of Glucose Tests and blood work in the the third rung of hell. 

I'm just saying,

Kimiko  

Dear Mr. Awesome,

How can I say thank you for such an awesome first year of marriage!! How about...thank you for putting up with me and my many little quirks. Thank you for being a budgetter, a planner and a thinker. Thank you for being the perfect height so you can put your arm around me and we can walk without that awkward three-legged race issue. Thank you for saying "I love you," "you're amazing," and "you are beautiful" so often that I catch myself believing it. Thank you for being my best friend and my favorite person to be around. Thank you for being there to let me cry on your shoulder and actually letting me know that it is a requirement. Thank you for being honest and good and not afraid to make a fool of yourself. Thank you for just being awesome and proposing to me and marrying me and making this year one of the best years ever. Here's to our future.

I love you Mr.

Kimiko

Dear Second Trimester,

So far everything people have told me about you, everything I've read...is a complete lie!! A couple weeks in and I still have major nausea and am still getting sick just as much if not more than the first trimester and (overshare alert) Mr. Awesome is still waiting for that second trimester libido boost while I'm passed out in bed by seven. I'm going to give you a little bit more time but after that I'm going to find out if I have a "false advertisement" case against you. Feel free to stop sucking any day now. 

Kimiko

p.s.

in more promising news today is the first day in three months that eggs have not offended me. So thanks mom for making me one:)

Dear Ultrasound Technician,

You have one of the neatest jobs! Not only do you get to play with goo but you also get to be there for all those first glimpses of baby in utero. If that weren't enough for me to think you were cool you go and give me this..."Look's like we have a head stand" you said. But here's what I think...our little breakdancer was just caught mid windmill! I also forgive you Ultrasound Tech for not getting the little wave, obviously the breakdancing was more than enough. I should also say thanks for holding up our appointment so Mr. Awesome could make it...he was being extra cautious on the moped due to the rain.

You're neat...but not as neat as the baby:)

Kimiko

Dear Baby,

You had your first appointment a few days ago and it was super...well mostly super. I thought that we were just going in to check your heartbeat and unfortunately wasn't aware that Dr. Hitchcock (cool...I know:) and her sidekick were gonna be all up in my Business. Oh Yes!! I did capitalize Business which I feel eliminates the need to elaborate, but I will! These appointments are something we need to know about in advance, so we can mentally prepare ourselves. I myself like to wear knee high socks so that I can retain some semblance of modesty. Which, as many of you may know, is incredibly difficult while in stirrups. There's also the added bonus of being told to relax but honestly who can relax when they're spread eagle, bare butt hanging off the edge of a table. Maybe it's just me but that's not how I sit around and watch TV. Ummmm, so apparently I got off track. I forgot I was writing to you Baby:) And since I'm almost positive you're not a girl you can be thankful that you will never have to deal with the aforementioned right of passage. You can also be assured that your mother is an oversharer...but not half as bad as your dad (seriously, it's legend). Just know that while we will embarass you we still love you very much.

Mom

p.s.

Your heartbeat is super fast and strong and probably the most amazing thing I have ever heard in my life. 

Dear Saturday,

You are the loveliest of all the days of the week!! Mr. Awesome and I get to sleep in together and then I get to watch Super Nanny in my under-roos while simultaneously drinking tea and eating nachos* for breakfast (yeah...still pregnant:). As if all of that wasn't awesome enough we also get to go pick up a moped for Mr. Awesome to go with his new super cool Speed Racer helmet and I officially get to pick up some maternity clothes because while I like hanging out in my roos,  I don't like when it's because the only pair of pants that still fit are in the dryer. Because, Saturday, you are so awesome we may or may not get to any of these things but we will surely make time for a nap and to be thankful for making it through another week. 

happy day, 

Kimiko

*if you think about it nachos are a spectacular breakfast food: carbs (chips, good ones), dairy (low-moisture part skim mozzarella and sour cream), protein (from my black beans), and fruits and veggies (avocado and corn). That's What's Up:)

Dear Internet,

It has been a little while and I sincerely apologize. In an effort to grow up a little Mr. Awesome and I decided that maybe Him, Me, Baby and Puppy should have a little bit more space than what was afforded by are wonderful little studio. That and our building was slowly but surely being turned into a dorm (seriously, UW owns the building) and I didn't feel that the smell of weed and hot pockets wafting through the halls was conducive to raising our little family. That being said we found a wonderful new space with triple the square footage and (wait for it...) a garage which for anyone who has lived in a city can attest...is pretty friggin' sweet:) Sooooo, long story short, we moved into said New Place and were without internet for like a whole week which really backlogged my blog stalking and writing. But have no fear we are back in action we may be surrounded by boxes and stacks of who knows what that need to find a home but Mr. Awesome and I are able to ignore it all in order to watch Modern Family on Hulu and...well...update the blog. Priorities, right?  

I love you internet,

Kimiko

Dear Mr. Awesome,

Thanks for carrying me to bed last night. I didn't mean to pass out right in the middle of our packing extravaganza. Apparently it didn't phase you one bit; not the fact that I was partially comatose...while sort of attempting to have a conversation...in the midst of having you help me wrangle my way out of my suffocating cardigan. You're the greatest!!

Kimiko 

p.s.

I sincerely apologize that the seven boxes that were allotted for my books were only able to house half of them...I forgot that some of those shelves were three rows deep:) My Bad.

Dear Best Friend,

Oh yeah you know who you are. Have you gone completely bonkers? So just a couple days ago you call to tell me you're going to be gone for a couple days. Cool. Maybe we'll hang out this weekend. That is a kind, considerate friend thing to do. You didn't have to...but you're just awesome like that. BUT!!!! You don't think to call and double check the date for the birth of my first child before you schedule your month long trip to another country? "Oh yeah!! When are you due again?" You say, "Four days before we get back? Well we'll be sure to be here for the next one then." Well thank you for the consolation prize.

Don't fret, you're not blacklisted because I know you'll make it up and I'm clinging to the idea that you didn't blatantly do it to be away from my whining. Or did you? 

Nonetheless I still love you and I want New Zealand-y stuff,

Kimiko

p.s.

Best friend's husband, like I said, you are not allowed to make excuses or allowances until you have an equally painful, scary and life-altering experience for which your best friend is traipsing around New Zealand.

Dear Baby,

Just wanted to give you a heads up that you are no longer an embryo but officially a baby (even if you do look a little alien-ish).  I appreciate the fact that in honor of your new title you wanted to assert some power by giving me back that whole glass of orange juice I had for breakfast. Yeah, they were kind of concerned at work when I went a little Exorcist in the back room. Apparently orange juice does not constitute breakfast, point taken. It seems you enjoyed the ham and cheese a bit more, noted. But just you wait because payback is imminent. It's gonna be orange juice and scrambled eggs all the time once you get here. Just. You. Wait!

Mom

Dear Wonder Pup,

This is my second letter to you regarding your flatulence and I fear that it will not be the last. It wasn't too long ago that I compared you to the atomic bomb but it has gotten so much worse. We've tried to change your food, we've racked our brain as to what may be be festering inside your bowels, we've asked you flat out "Oh my God, what is wrong with you," but sadly to no avail. I know it's not just me and my super powered pregnant sniffer because even Mr. Awesome is appalled too. 

I see this sweet face now and all I see death, because every time you let one go I die a little inside. I'm beginning to think you are doing it just to spite me, already rebelling against the baby by dropping bombs all over the house because the frequency has gone up exponentially. Maybe you're marking your territory before he gets here, "back left hand corner of the bedroom...check. Left and right sides of the couch...check...check."

I have no idea what to do next besides may be looking into puppy colonoscopies.

Kimiko

Dear Onda,

Can I call you Onda? You're real name is too long and scientific-y. I know we met less than 24 hours ago but I already kind of love you. I mean you're a quarter of the size of those horse pills I have to take everyday and you have the most amazing ability to make me feel like a normal person. I mean who wouldn't want to get rid of that constant hungover feeling, you are amazing. Screw the Sea Bands that only took the edge off, you are unstoppable. Here's to a long and happy relationship.

No really you're awesome

Kimiko

Dear Blatant Observer,

Yeah you!! What's you're deal? Why must you look at me like I'm crazy just because I have a cup of pee in my hand, we are at the Doctors office. Sometimes, just sometimes, they take samples from people who aren't crackheads. Also, AHEM, you are standing in front of the little gray tray that I'm supposed to be placing it in. But noooo!!! You have to look over your shoulder at me like I'm planning some sort of urinary attack. Weirdo...Move it! Other people are starting to stare. I swear it's only that unnatural shade of fluorescence because of my prenatal vitamins, not because the only liquid I ever drink is orange juice. Geez.

I cry easy now, 

Kimiko

Dear REM cycle,

I don't know what the deal is but I've never been one to have crazy dreams. If anything I'm that person that can't even remember their dreams at all. Which makes it all the more strange that I very clearly recall rappelling down the side of a building, upside down, shooting at some faceless assailants. Or just two nights ago bashing zombies heads in with a cast-iron skillet. Very graphic and very violent. I only have one possible explanation....testosterone!

I'm putting it on record that after my ninja dream last night we will be having a boy...a jumping, kicking, crazy (like Mr. Awesome) boy. I'm about 90% sure.

Kimiko

Dear Mr. Awesome,

You are the best. Like last night for example, when I passed out at two 0'clock for a couple hours and then at 8 proclaimed I was exhausted and passed out again. What does Mr. Awesome do? Well you just tucked me in nice and tight and were off. You didn't even bat an eyelash when a couple hours later I swore that that very same blanket you tucked me in with was suffocating me and it was "Sooo friggin' hot" (incredibly dramatic, I know). "The down comforter is fine, it's the blue one that has to go!" What does Mr. Awesome do? Well you just grabbed me a glass of ice water and were on your way, blue blanket in tow.

You are the best in the land.

Kimiko